


Wait For Me

by leedsome



Series: Where you find love [2]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Character Death, M/M, Sad, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-23
Updated: 2013-08-23
Packaged: 2017-12-24 09:11:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/938178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leedsome/pseuds/leedsome
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Lou, don’t do this to me.” I whispered. You sobbed as you pulled me into a tight hug.</p><p> </p><p>	“I have to, Haz.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wait For Me

**Author's Note:**

> I was really inspired by this Larry picture and here. I came up with this. I hope you all like it and I hope it's not shitty haha :) xx ~M.

 

 

Boo,

                How I missed calling you that in front of everybody… in front of everyone without any hesitations. Hi, Louis. I think you know by my hand writing you know who I am. It’s been… what? Almost three years since we met. On that bathroom. It’s quite silly how we first met. What a place! “Hi!” and “Oops!” were our first words to each other. Have you ever thought on that particular moment that we would be in the same group? That we would fulfil our dreams together with three amazing guys who’s always there for us? If you ask me, I have no idea, really. I thought that that moment is just a random thing that happened…but no—it’s more than that…much more than that.

                I never thought that I have met in that place, in that time, the one I’ll love.

                At first I thought it was just some kind of stupid crush but no. Hell, no. We grew closer to each other. I grew closer to you. We became best of friends. We eat, sleep, sing and do almost everything together. On X Factor, I never thought all those tiredness would go away once we step foot on our rooms or whenever we’re just sitting together and you’ll make us all laugh. I love that about you… making us laugh. And you’ll always be the one sending Niall rolling on the floor because of your crazy antics. Liam would always reprimand us that there were other people next to our room and we might disturb them but you can make him join and fool around with us. You would ruffle Zayn’s hair once he’s done fixing his hair for god knows for how many times and he’ll chase you around the room but instead of getting angry, there’s a smile plastered on his face when you two get tired of circling around the room. And then there’s me. Well, you can always make me smile. Anytime, anywhere. Me just seeing you laugh with the others would make me giggle. Whenever you say those loving words, even if they were jokes, I always get giddy. Whenever you give me those simple touches, it makes me want to melt down. Whenever you ask if you could sleep beside me, it makes me stay late at night until I drift to sleep with a smile on my face. Whenever you cling to me backstage because you were so nervous at the amount of people on the audience, I would always be there hugging you back and reassure that everything will be just fine. It all started there.

                I never thought you’ll love me back like I love you.

                I still remember that day clearly. I’ve never been so happy in my whole life. You hold my hand while we’re on our van, on our way towards our places after the show . My head was leaned to you. After several hours, everyone around us was asleep. I peeked at you and your eyes were also closed. I sighed and whispered every single thing I want to let you know. I even felt a few tears escape my eyes when I told your sleeping form about how absurd my feelings were because I knew you would never love me back because you’re straight as a ruler and if I ever tell you that I love you, you’ll hate me 100%. Then I heard your deep laughter. “Haz, how can I ever hate the man I love?” were your exact words. How about you? Do you still remember that? Do you still recall that day? That time? My words? Yours? Because I do. It still replays in my mind. I would never ever forget that. And what made the day my greatest? It was when you let me face you and I felt your lips crashed into mine. It was when I knew that you love me. Time had really stopped for me right there. How about you? What did you feel that time? Because I felt that I couldn’t be happier.

                We arrived at our destination hand in hand and the boys gave us weird looks but Niall was smirking at us. You saw that I’m at a loss of words so you decided that you’ll be the one to tell them. We never expected their reactions. We thought they would be disgusted or dismayed but they were not. I remember Niall shouting “I knew it!” all around and jumping all around like he won the lottery. Liam supplied a very pleased smile and Zayn was like “Way to go, guys!” and pats our shoulders. I’m so glad we met those guys. They’re just so… great.

                But of course not everyone was pleased.

                Management. It was always them. It has always been them. During X Factor they have separated us already. You and I weren’t in the same room again after they knew. It was okay for us though, we still had contact but after the leaked photos, they took our phones away. I have cried. Niall was the only one with me and you’re with Zayn and Liam. Niall comforted me and told me everything will be alright but I know it won’t be. Cruel, right? Cruel world of show business. Did you cry too? I wished I was there beside you, soothing you, if you were crying.

                Our X Factor days were already done.

                Yes, we did not win but we made it, right? We lived our dreams… but for the sake of all of these things we have, we kept it a secret. A secret that some can see, some only shrugged off.

                We had a tour all around UK. It was so much fun, right? Our first tour… us being carefree, lively, spirited and happy. We sneak some sweet gestures like hugs, whispers and all that. We didn’t know it will cause all trouble.

                Our fans saw through it. Many claimed us as gays and some we’re arguing with them saying that we’re straight and all that. People get angry with each other. Management knew all about these. They asked the press not to mention ‘Larry Stylinson’ too much. They told us to express ourselves in a manly way. Me proclaimed as a man whore. Really? They would rather want me called that than gay? And you… you were supplied with a beard.

                We were having a lovely chat with the boys in our hotel room. A knock on the door startled us all. Liam stood up, a small giggle still lingering in his lips because of your joke, and answered it. Our smile fell as we saw a man from management and a girl who’s really gorgeous and skinny. She smiled sweetly at all of us. We all have question marks above our heads. “This is Eleanor, boys.” The man said. He told us that she will be your fake girlfriend. Liam was the first to react asking what on earth it is all about. The man answered that it is for your publicity because rumours about us being gay are being too viral now. Niall glared at him and ask what’s wrong with that. “What’s wrong with that? It will destroy your whole career as a band!” the man boomed. Zayn let out a sigh of disbelief. You and I looked into each other’s eyes. My head shook ‘no’. You gazed at me with defeat in your eyes. I pleaded you, don’t do it. I told you I don’t care what people thought of us. I told you that screw the world, it’s about you and me. I told you… I told you that it would hurt me like hell and that I can’t stand it if you would act all sappy around some random girl. But no. You told me that the idea would be for us. For the sake of our band. You argued with me that night. You shouted at me… for the very first time Lou. You yelled at me that I’m being a selfish bastard.

                I never cried so hard in my life, Lou. It damn hurts right here in my heart.

                For weeks we haven’t talked to each other. You and El made an appearance in the media now. Announcing you have a girlfriend. Not that I hate El. She’s a lovely and kind girl and I think she feels sorry for me. She said sorry to me. She said sorry to me after our row that night when I’m crying and you stormed into your room. And you? You waited a month to speak to me again and say sorry for what you said and what you did. But it’s okay. At least I know there’s still ‘US’.

                Eleanor’s name was everywhere. Most of our fans were actually relieved to know you have a girlfriend…relieved that you weren’t gay. They seem to love El like they love Danielle. They even have a ship name for you… ‘Elounor’. It was a nice name.

                Months passed so slowly. You and El having occasional ‘dates’. Me left all alone in our dear flat. Sometimes, Ni, Li or Zayn would come over so it won’t be me and no one else. I remember Liam requesting Toy Story every single time we would have a movie marathon and I’ll suggest Harry Potter and Niall would just stand up towards our refrigerator to find food. Zayn, being him was asleep. One time, Niall got some sharpies and drew funny things on Zayn while he was dead to the world. When he woke up and looked into the mirror to fix his hair he was so furious he ate the last chip of Niall. Niall almost cried but Liam told them it was only fair to both parties. We really had fun time. I really hoped you were with us at those occasions. It sure would be three times better.

                One day, management were on our way again.

                They told me I should have my own personal beard! Yay!

                It was Taylor. She would be a good beard, as what the man from management says. We went to New York for our greatest performance which is our show at MSG. We were all excited as well as our PRs and management with my little publicity with Taylor. It was a walk in a park with her and Lux. See? They even used Lux! I can’t really believe these guys.

                After that day, HD pictures of us were all twitter, tumblr and all other social networking sites. I’m really sorry for the girl. She’s called all those mean words just because she’s my new ‘girl’. I saw you looking through them with no emotion at all. You turned to me and smiled sweetly. “I love you Haz. You’ll always be mine, right?” were your words. I smiled back at you and we kissed. Sure we had so many kisses before but this felt special for us. Unfortunately someone caught us. Luckily it was just captain Niall who ships us with his whole heart. He told us to get a room and we laughed at our friend’s reaction.

                On our performance at MSG, I had this soaring feeling. I can’t believe we got that far and I’m so glad to share that experience with you and the boys. I never thought we’d have a row after that.

                It was the after-party and everyone was there having fun. Management did their little stunts again. They asked me to stay by Taylor’s side. I can see you giving me glares. It was all just a show, Lou.

                We went to our respective hotel rooms and you were there staring at me with no emotion at all. And then you snapped.

                “What the hell was that, Harry?! You… you looked like you’re really into her, in fact you’re all over her!” you roared at me. I flinched a little and I felt like crying. I gathered my courage and talked back but you cut me off. “Maybe you really like her after all! Am I right, Harry?! You two almost kissed! Fuck it!” I stood there, crying and you stormed off into Eleanor’s room just like that.

                And as if on cue, my phone rang and the irony! It was management asking me to go to Taylor’s hotel. And so I did.

                Look, Lou. I’m so sorry.

                The next day, you were there, and so were the boys. You looked at me icily. “So how’s your night with that girl? Was it fun?” you told me bitterly. I sighed deeply and clenched my fist. Do you remember that time? Do you recall my words? I told you that nothing happened. We just have a talk. She was in fact crying in front of me because of her recent break-up. But what did you tell me?

                “You’re not my Harry.”

                You went out of the room and left me there.  I was broken, Lou. Really broken.

                Your birthday came. I was there but you barely talked to me. Yes, we smiled at each other in front of the camera but if the media were not there? We’re complete strangers. It’s like from best friends, we became strangers. It hurts so bad and I kept on wondering if you feel the same. We were not the same anymore. Not only did the boys notice but also our directioners. Days passed and came our another publicity stunt. Taylor was not really into it to but like us, her management asked her to act to. We kissed, yeah. But you know what’s on my mind? Your name and your face smiling at me.

                You were so mad back then. You told me why I kissed her. I finally had enough of your shouts Lou. I’m sorry if I shouted back at you but it’s just too much that time. It was all just a fucking act. Did I complain when you and El were always out? Did I protest when you were having sweet moments with El every time cameras were there? Did I ever nag you about your vacations with El in different places? Did I ever complain when you two kissed? God, Lou. I cried for days when I saw that picture!

                I need time to think, Lou. I left you and went with Taylor. We talked about us, Lou. She told me that we should fake our ‘break-up’. She was all in it since she’s sick and tired of looking like a slut. She told me to fight for us. That’s all the advice she can give me. Fight for us.

                After a few weeks, we tried to fix things. We did. But of course, our relationship was discreet as always. We never have our usual ‘moments’ on our Take Me Home tour but Liam, Niall and Zayn were our ‘messengers’. It was really funny how enthusiastic they were about the idea of us. Liam kept on muttering on how unkind and heartless management is for making us suffer like this whenever he passes our messages for each other. Niall, being the leader of ‘Larry’ fandom, he makes you jealous in every single way possible just to see your reaction and he’ll tease us after, giving us meaningful looks. Zayn would hug me really tight and whisper it was from you and he’ll walk to you after a minute or so and he’s probably telling that his hug was from me.

                We’ve survived three years Lou.

 

                Three years of hiding.

 

                Three years of our secret relationship.

 

                But why did it come down to this?

               

                I used to ask myself, did we ever do something wrong? Is it bad to love someone? I don’t get why people are so irrational these days. Why can’t they just let us be? Would our relationship kill? No.

                My favourite question? Why would you, Louis, agree to something like this?

                Am I not enough?

                Don’t you like the world to know about me and you? If there’s still me and you at the time I’m writing this.

                I want to wash the memory away but it’s printed in the back of my mind. That fucked up day. You and I were having the time of our lives. We’re just there cuddling each other on the sofa. You were singing in my ear ‘Kiss Me’ which is our all time favourite Ed Sheeran song. And then there was this stupid knock on our door. I sighed and get it.

                That same old man faced me. Rage was evident in his face. I asked him what is his business and he showed me leaked photos of us. Kissing and making out. It was clear pictures. It was definitely us. My eyes were wide in shock and so are yours. We don’t know what to say.

                The devil spoke and as he explained what we need to do to stop this ‘Larry suspicions’, My eyes were full of tears and begging the man not to do this to us. I knelt on the cold, hard floor. I’m begging and pleading the man in front of us. You were there, your eyes glued on the floor. Tears were falling from your own eyes, your knuckles were white.

                You shouted at him. You told him to fuck off. You told him you can’t do that to me.

                Well, that lasted just for that night.

                The next day, you were there on the dining table, your hands clasped together on the table.

 

 

 

                “Haz. I- I’m sorry.”

 

 

                “No, Lou, don’t be sorry.”

 

 

                “Haz, I a-accepted it.”

 

 

                “W-what? You can’t b- be serious.”

 

 

                “Haz, I’m sorry b- but it’s for the sake of our band. It’s f-for you too.”

 

 

                “Lou, don’t do this to me.” I whispered. You sobbed as you pulled me into a tight hug.

 

 

                “I have to, Haz.”

 

 

                “Lou… no, please. No. Boo. Don’t… don’t marry her.”

 

 

                “People say we shouldn’t be together, We’re too young to know about forever…”

 

 

                “Stop singing it, Lou. Please tell me you’re j-joking. L-lou p-please… I-I can’t.”

 

 

                “Haz, I-I am so sorry. I love you so fucking much. I don’t want this but I must do it. Haz, I don’t want this. Harry… Harry….my Harry…. I love you.” you sobbed.

 

                Louis. I fought for you every single time. I always repelled what management told me to do. Yes, I followed them but not everything. I love you, Lou. Why is it that it seemed I’m the only one fighting? You just do what they asked you? Maybe by this time I’m writing this stupid letter you already said yes. You and El were already married to each other. God, Lou it hurts as hell! It fucking hurts Lou! Why?! Why do you have to do this to me?! Lou I told you screw them right?! But what? You still do what they want? Now that management has taken its peak? You didn’t even fight for me. You didn’t even try. You didn’t even fucking try. But why is it that even though you hurt me like this, I still love you?

                That question was with me since I first knew about my feelings for you.

                And now I know.

                Lou, you made it so easy to fall so hard. I don’t care if it will give me pain but I’m ready to fight for you.

                But I guess, you don’t feel the same way.

                This is real life and who said life is fair?

                In every game you won’t always win and maybe I lost this fight.

                I love you, Louis… my Boo Bear.

                I’ll always do and I hope you do too.

With all love,

Your Haz

P.S. Sorry for the tear stains, my love. Sorry for everything. I’ll miss you.

**_Louis’ eyes were full of tears. His tear stains added to those made by Harry. The hand-writing of Harry was almost unreadable at the last part. Louis clutched the letter to his heart and sobbed terribly._ **

**_“Harry…I-I fought for y-you Haz. I-I n-never s-said y-yes. I-I left. I l-left the m-marriage. I d-don’t care w-what they’ll t-think. Haz… I- I love y-you, Haz. Y-you m-make me c-complete. H-Haz, I-I was broken too. I-I never m-meant to hurt you like this. Y-you never t-told me… w-why do you n-need to w-write it all down? Y-you could’ve j-just w-waited for me, Haz! Why did you leave me… I’m sorry… Haz! Haz! Harry! I LOVE YOU HARRY! HARRY WAKE UP, PLEASE!”_ **

**_“Louis,” Niall knelt down next to Louis who’s shaking tremendously and Harry’s cold body. Niall hugged his friend, crying._ **

**_Liam was awfully taking it all in. It wasn’t like him._ **

**_Zayn’s knuckles were bloody and the wall beside him has huge cracks._ **

**_They all cried._ **

**_Niall and Louis held each other. Liam knelt beside them and grabbed Harry’s icy hands and sobbed. Zayn was taking it in badly. No one was in the right mind._ **

**_Of course no one would want to believe._ **

**_No one would want to know._ **

**_Louis let go of Niall._ **

**_“Fuck, Harry. You could’ve just waited for me.” Louis muttered to his lover._ **


End file.
